what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's the barista slut.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
