Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
