Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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