Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
