should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
