sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
