No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Success! We fucked roommates!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
