Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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