I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
