all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
