not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
