If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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