can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
