We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
