I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
