The maid of honor just puked.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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