Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
