you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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