I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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