evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
