Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
