worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
