Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
