My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am available for nakedness
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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