Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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