we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
