i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
