best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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