One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
BRING THE BAGELS
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
