Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
