remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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