i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
