Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
