med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
