She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
