She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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