we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
