I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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