2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
