Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
