you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
