Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
