did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
