My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
