If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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