Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
