guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
