that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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