dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can't talk, ducks in the car
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
