are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
